Conversation Between Church and the Hurting

Church: Dear Believers, do not worry yourself with the evil in this world. This evil is powerless to stop the amazing plan of God upon your life and even upon the history of all mankind. Because of Christ, evil is merely a pawn in the hand of God to show off the glory of redemption. Be encouraged, and know that all things, even the evil of the curse, work together for good, to those who love God.

Hurting church member: Thank you, Church. I needed this encouragement, because I have experienced a lot of pain lately.

Church: Tell me more about this pain.

Hurting church member: Well, a general mixture of church and non-church people have successfully abused me emotionally and physically, they have slandered me and those that I love, they have imposed harmful expectations upon me and those that I love (expectations not in the Bible), they have raised their voices in anger against me, and several other things. My pain is deep and real. Can you speak more comfort to me of this loving plan of God to use this evil for good? Can you embrace me with safe and kind words for a bit? I am afraid, angry, and confused.

Church: Well, this may be challenging.

Hurting church member: Really? Why?

Church: I know of those that have abused you, and I do not doubt that a few of them did the wrong thing. From what I’ve learned from you in the last couple minutes, I can tell that you probably provoked this abuse in some cases.

Hurting church member: Really?

Church: Regarding the others that you feel abused you, many of them did not intend to abuse you as you say. You ought to forgive them for the evil you perceived that they did to you. You also must know that it was never about you anyway.

Hurting church member: I imagined it?

Church: I know of those that slandered you, and you have to understand that their words are simply a matter of perspective. If you understood their perspective, you would better understand why the things that they said were at least a little bit true.

Hurting church member: I feel like this is something you should share with them, as well. The slander that they spread came as a result of misunderstanding my perspective.

Church: You see, that is the problem. You “felt like” they did you wrong. You ought not to live by your feelings.

Hurting church member: I’m just explaining myself….

Church: Now you are just getting defensive. Obviously, something else is going on here, and you need to go to the Word of God and grow in your relationship with Christ. You see, I also know those that imposed their standards on you and those you love. The truth is that they read the Bible, and their conscience feels strongly. You ought to be more patient with their conscience and not seek to offend. You ought to be more teachable, even if you do not agree. 

Hurting church member: I did not mean to offend anyone or be unteachable.

Church: Whether or not you meant to offend, the fact is that they are offended.

Hurting church member: But then maybe they should understand that I did not intend to offend them. Didn’t you tell me that it wasn’t about me? The way that I live isn’t about them either. My understanding of the Bible leads me to act in this way, and I gave no thought that anyone would be offended.

Church: You should be more careful.

Hurting church member: This is all very overwhelming. I could really use some words of assurance and comfort.

Church: You seem very argumentative.

Hurting church member: My mind is a bit mixed up and confused right now. I’m just trying to make sense of things.

Church: You shouldn’t be trying so hard. The Bible is clear about what God wants from us.

Hurting church member: Well, there seem to be a lot of different opinions flying around about all kinds of things.

Church: If you read the Bible more, you wouldn’t be so overwhelmed with different opinions.

Hurting church member: When I read the Bible for myself and acted in obedience, then several church people stood up and spoke harshly to me. I wish that they would not have done that.

Church: I can already tell from this conversation that you are a very argumentative person. They probably felt attacked. MacArthur wrote a really great book about this. You should read it and better understand what God is saying here.

Hurting church member: But I thought you just said to read the Bible for myself.

Church: You will not be taught. You will not let go of your anger. You are choosing to be hurt, and you are bitter. People are not perfect, you know. You should forgive and grow.

Hurting church member: It seems like you think that no one really wronged me, that I just imagined it?

Church: Well, you sound a little bit hypocritical right now. Are you saying that you didn’t sin?

Hurting church member: I don’t know. I’m confused and devastated.

Church: Take your pain and confusion to Christ.

Hurting church member: Would you say that Christ is your leader?

Church: Why are you being so accusatory? Of course we follow Christ.

Former church member: Just checking.